Being a student is proof of “Survival of the Fittest”

by elizabethfcoates

Dear Salmons,

The current current is telling me that the end of my first year is fast approaching. And my conclusion is thus; being a student (and particularly being in halls) is survival of the fittest.

Let me define fittest;

Definition 1: Has all the adaptation for surviving particular environment (e.g. chugging beer, doing all nighter on coursework, scrounging free food, etc)

Definition 2: being so attractive that the first year becomes too much fun for you to not possibly survive it (i.e. everyone WANTS you to be JCR representative)

Definition 3: Becoming so buff that you make a name for yourself on your chosen sports team (so you are pressured to stay).

I shall go with the first one in this case, for the other two don’t succeed after first year. Those who seem to just struggle along in the first year and keep taking things as they come seems to be the most solid survival strategy.

For instance(s); those who work out the balance of being too sober to reach the last bar on a pub crawl (Jesters anyone?), or too paralytic, are always the life and soul of socials. They succeed by being reliable and popular amongst their peers.

Second instance; those who find the balance between working too hard (and driving yourself crazy) or working too little (also driving you crazy), find that they do better for their approach things at THEIR OWN pace, not the pace of others, wherein lies trouble.

A salmon is never late; they arrive precisely when they’re meant to (cheer Gandalf!).

Third instance: those who find the balance between being overly buff (inciting jealousy) or overly flaccid (inciting ridicule – all the same really), often find they will be as healthy as they can arsed to be, and that in itself is healthy. Stress-free is the key.

Fourth instance: those who find the balance between asking too many questions in lectures (annoying for students, particularly on Friday when they wish to hit the bars – alcohol, that is, not prison) and asking too few (annoying for lecturers – they’d rather do research on squirrel sneezes, even though salmons are better), often will find that their course does not go beyond their depth, nor being so shallow it may as well not exist.

As a last note, those who do find moderation actually are more likely to succeed. You may think you can coast, or you must learn 12 foreign languages and join several societies, as well as both completing a degree. But actually, the employers are salmons too. They just want someone who can fit in with the crowd.

In other words, the survival of those who fit in best.

We don’t ask for brilliance; we just want someone we want to work with. Please, just chill and join in!