Amazon; Cutting Off Their Right Breast To Spite Their Face With A Cauliflower Ear

by elizabethfcoates

Amazon's husbands trying to set up a business

“The power of corporate dominance is so powerful I must destroy my own home to make Amazon books and buy an Apple.”

On this blog, whenever an interesting news story comes up, I write a response to it in a relevant, engaging manner. Today I wish to discuss Amazon and my university’s Rugby team.

According to the Guardian (try and not slip in the pseudo-socialist dribble here), Amazon U.K .paid £3.2m in corporate tax to HM Revenue and Customs this past tax year (which ends in May in the U.K) despite the UK net profit being £4.2bn in 2012.

There were plenty of excuses, including the fact that the company is not taxable in the U.K., for the U.K activities are registered in Slough, but the big decisions are made in Luxembourg, meaning that they should pay taxes on profits in Luxembourg (which has a much lower rate than in the U.K.).

Why should we care? We all purchase goods on Amazon, and they provide a good service (sometimes). If they leave, a lot of people will lose their jobs. We don’t want that, do we?

Eh, well, maybe. The fact is, a company profiting from a country should give back to the country as they’re taking advantage from a wealthy population such as the U.K., a good market to hold onto due to the large population and strong currency (and, dare I say, our shopaholic habits).

It reminds me of the Rugby team at university. If you have ever been a student anywhere (or still are; hello there!), I am sure you remember that one group that seemed to have monopoly over the schedule.

They may have been sleeping with the student council members, or the headteacher, whatever. The fact is, whatever they wanted, they would have. At my university, this club is represented by the Rugby team.

At Wide Lane, the sports’ pitches area for the University of Southampton, the smaller clubs such as the Ultimate Frisbee and Korfball (yes, really) are often denied extra spots to use the pitches. They might get two hours a week there if they are lucky. Yet the Rugby seems to have practice three times a week, plus an all day session at the weekend.

Wait, what?

The team not only have dominance over the pitch bookings; they also dominate the bars afterwards. They are often found in the infamous bar Jesters (the worst in the U.K. – comparable to Butlins meet a Victorian prison, and we love it!), stripping at the Baywatch theme and harrassing the ladies after draining the bar dry.

Woe betide any girl there after their practice, especially the ones who haven’t showered yet.

So how is this team like Amazon? Why am I talking about chopping off their right breast? And do I need to recommend a shrink to you?

One question at a time. The team remind me of Amazon because of being the big fish in a large but limited and monotonous tank. They do stalk around in a group, too strong and large a corporation for the tank’s government to do a thing about it.

The Student Union might want to curtail the team’s behaviour, but like the British Government and Amazon, they dare not take them on, lest they lose their power, or, even worse, the team will simply not answer to SUSU anymore and not pay their fees. They are in a position of power to do so. They even have friends on the council, and we all know who they are, but we have no evidence for it.

So why cutting off the right breast? Amazons famously cut off their right breast in order to fire arrows better, at the detriment of their femininity. I’d rather not argue about the relative feminist credentials of the Amazons; rather, let’s concentrate on the consequences. 

Yes, Amazon is a big player, having more spare money to expand at a phenomenal rate in the past ten years. I remember when it was no more than a piddly book shop online no one took seriously; now it has not right breast, it shoots straight and I order everything off there.

Yet the breast was cut off, and part of themselves is lost for profit in the name of corporate war. The Rugby team have the same syndrome; they are powerful and influential  but are feared and even resented for their behaviour. Is it worth it?

And for the last question; I probably do need a shrink. Maybe they are not alike, for one is a student sport team, and the other a successful online store. But if Amazon is one of the biggest graduate recruiters in Europe (Times, 2012 – link behind pay wall), I daresay the Rugby team may be applying, and won’t see the irony.